Tammy’s Story
“I’m learning how to trust God.”
“I went through a lot of different types of abuse growing up… It made me not feel safe. It made me have a lot of dysfunctions, and I grew up not trusting anybody.”
Throughout her childhood, Tammy experienced nonstop abuse and neglect that left her feeling unsafe and unstable. She had no reference for what a healthy and safe life looked like and settled for toxic relationships with anyone she could find, which often became abusive. Yet so long as her desire to be cared for was fulfilled, the codependent packaging of the relationship didn’t matter. “I needed somebody,” Tammy said, “I always felt like I needed somebody to help support me because I didn't know what normal looked like.”
Without knowing how to be self-sufficient, Tammy felt incapable of sustaining herself. Any safe place she found was temporary, and she fell into habits that led to recurring homelessness. Instability and chaos became normal in her adult life, the same way it was in her childhood.
Between the unstable housing, abusive relationships, and lack of safety, Tammy met her final challenge that led toward change. Tammy got married but soon found this relationship to be no different from past ones. “My ex-husband abused me in every way somebody can be abused.” Finally fed up with danger and abuse ruling her life, Tammy packed her bags and found refuge at Union Gospel Mission’s Simonka Place.
Although it was not the first time Tammy had stepped through Simonka Place’s doors to find help, she was looking forward to it being her last. Equipped with her previous experience in the New Life Fellowship, she was pushed further and harder toward her pursuit of healing. “[In] my Learning Center classes,” Tammy explained, “the teacher pushes me more than she did last time because she knows I can do it, and she knows I can get through it... I know that she's doing it because she believes in me.” Staff and guests alike gave Tammy hope that there was a better future in store for her. Her life could be better than it was before—she could be free from codependency and abuse.
The New Life Fellowship not only guided her toward practical, self-sustaining skills, but also toward God. “Because of my trust issues with relationships, I didn’t know how to trust God,” Tammy remembered, “And now I’m learning how to trust God.” Through various trials Tammy faced while at Simonka Place, both staff and guests reminded Tammy of God’s goodness, faithfulness, and unwavering love.
Simonka Place guided her through getting her GED in hopes of attaining the education needed to start her own business. Relationships with staff and guests gave her a glimpse of what healthy relationships could look like. “Some of the staff I've known for many years, and I will continue being in their lives after. Some of the ladies here I've really connected with that I know will be in my life afterwards, too.” Through Simonka Place, Tammy was given a second chance at a good relationship with God, good relationships with others, and a good relationship with herself.
